What in the name of Christ was I watching? This story is going to be the craziest one I'm going to tell you.
On Saturday, I went to a yard sale to find some movies that I didn't had. There were a few Christmas movies and they cost 25 cents a DVD. Then I saw a Blue's Clues DVD. I remembered watching Blue's Clues all the time when I was little. The Steve episodes are better. The Joe episodes are trash. And the Steve episodes were amazing when I watch a episode with Steve. I pay the DVDs and I left the yard sale and went home.
I went home and I went to order pizza for dinner. After the pizza came, I grabbed myself a soda along with the Pizza. I put the DVD into the player. The intro came on and it looked weird. The outside was dark. Then it showed a title that made me weird. The title read Steve's Schizophrenia. Crazy title, right?
The episode starts with the house. It showed Steve in the living room. He looked sinister and said: "I want the shadows to play with me." The strange thing was Steve's voice sounds like a little high pitched. Steve was smiling very big, at a rate where CGI wasn't that realistic with effects in 2000. The kids in the background were screaming, this screaming was getting louder until Steve said, "You kids will learn about DEATH and gore!"
He laughs manically and took a drink of water and grabbed a gun and shoots Blue. Blue yelped painfully. Blue's blood splattered all over Side Table Drawer. Mr. Salt can be heard yelling: "CLAM DOWN STEVE!" Steve went to Mr. Salt and said something extremely scary.
Then the camera zooms closer on Steve's face. Steve said: "You shall get your salt out of your bottle or I'll do something crazy." Mr. Salt was confused. A time card read 9:28 at night. Mr. Salt was asleep and woke up and he saw a green shadow carrying a chainsaw and split Mr. Salt in half. "That's what you get!' yelled Steve. Steve then grabbed a knife and he throw it at Blue's dead body. More blood splattered everywhere. It was disgusting! I didn't dare to vomit but I kept watching.
Steve then grabbed a paintbrush and dip it in Blue's blood and draw a pentagram on the living room wall. As that, Steve took a bubble bath. He later grabbed Slippery Soap washing himself. "What the heck?" I wondered. Then Steve threw Slippery soap in the toilet and flushed Slippery. I was laughing for no reason. "This is the most funniest day in my life!" Steve said.
Steve put his clothes back on and went to the backyard. He peed on Shovel and Pail and they didn't pay no attention. He went to a tree and put 666 with a permanent marker. He back inside and went order a meat lover's pizza along with bleu cheese dipping sauce and some Sprite to drink.
As he was waiting, Steve put on a scary face mask. It was the scary face from the 1996 movie, Scream. He scared Mrs. Pepper and Paprika and grabbed them and smash them to the floor. Crazy, man.
Steve then later went outside, carrying an ax and sliced Mailbox in half. "What the heck are you doing to me?" Mailbox yelling at Steve. "Shut up you bitchy mailbox." yelled Steve. He chopped chunks of Mailbox and pour gasoline all over Mailbox. "That's what you get!" Steve said with a Jack Nicholson look on his face from the 1980 movie The Shining. He throw a match that made Mailbox on fire.
He got done eating his pizza and went to his bedroom and grabbed a bottle of acid and pour it on Tickety Tock. "Why did you do that to me, Steve?" gurgled Tickety as she was melting. Steve got a alarm clock and put it on top of Tickety's corpse.
Then Steve grabbed the sledgehammer and smash Side Table Drawer in pieces. He put the telephone next to the alarm clock. He looked at camera. "You kids like it?" said Steve in a hyper voice. The camera nodded yes and Steve gave the camera two big thumbs up!
As the episode ends with some police cops arresting Steve. "Let me go you dirty shiznits!" yelled Steve. They throw Steve in the jail cell and locked him up. It cuts to Magenta and gave a wink at the camera. The episode ends with a weird Nickelodeon logo. It was in the shape of a Machete. There were no credits and the screen went to black and went to the static. Who in the dirty minds would do this?
I put the DVD in my closet and leave it in there. I called Viacom and ask them about the episode. They said the episode was never aired because the DVD was made by someone named Mr. Calvin. He made the episode so crazy and he was arrested for making a horrible episode. But he was gone in Jail cause he said he would never do it again. And if you ever came across Steve's Schizophrenia, your childhood would be ruined. I am warning you boozes. I really do warning ALL of you. Except you.